...and there you have it, the final, conclusive
explanation for how the whole world could be fooled by
a simple pair of glasses. Except that, as noted, it didn't
stick. Superman readers just didn't want to give up their
handsome Clark Kent in favor of that anemic-looking nebbish
in the Planet artist's sketches. And who can blame them?
Bad enough poor old Clark has had to endure the slings
and arrows of outrageous fortune since 1938. Must we add
insult to injury?
Writer Marty Pasko wins some brownie points for sheer
boldness, but he miscalculated the appeal of Clark Kent.
He also had some serious holes in his theory, including:
-
Superboy/Superman's Clark Kent Robots.
As seen in many Silver Age stories, Superman had several
robots built to stand in for him as Clark Kent. Logically
he would have built them to look like Clark as he
saw him. If the rest of the world saw Clark differently,
that old robot ploy would never have worked.
- Clark Kent statues in the Fortress of Solitude,
built by Superman as part of a "Gallery of Friends"
exhibit to confuse visitors, would likewise reflect Superman's
vision of Clark. As soon as a visiting Lois Lane or Jimmy
Olsen saw these statues, they should have asked, "What's
with these statues of you in a business suit?"
- Batman and other friends, including President
John F. Kennedy(!), were known to have disguised themselves
as Clark Kent to help maintain Superman's secret ID. As
mere mortals, they would of course have seen the "hypno"
version of Clark Kent, and made themselves up accordingly.
As soon as they did, wouldn't Superman have exclaimed,
"What the? I don't look like THAT!"
- Supergirl is also from Krypton, and thus presumably
as resistant to Superman's hypnotic power as the man himself.
Wouldn't she have ever noticed that other people see Clark
differently than she does? Or if she was affected
by the hypno-glasses, and saw the instant, dramatic change
they made, wouldn't she ask, "Hey cuz, where do I
get glasses like that? 'Cause this flimsy wig ain't foolin'
nobody!"
- Cameras: despite Superman's dismissive aside
on the last page, it is ridiculous to believe a camera
would be "fooled" by a mind trick. Cameras don't
have a mind! Even if we allow for a moment that Superman's
hypnosis is powerful enough to fool a live home
audience via television broadcasts, there's no way anyone
viewing a still image days or months later, without Supes
around, would still be fooled.
...and so on. The point is, it just don't add up.
So why even make such an elaborate attempt? Because that
darned flimsy disguise has vexed so many writers for so
long. The very first moment a character (probably Lois)
asked, "who is Superman, really?" the Pandora's
Box was opened. How could anyone with moderate to average
intelligence, given the task of finding Superman's secret
identity, not come up with Clark Kent as the answer?
And yet, thanks to generations of writers stuck in the same
old rut, the matter kept coming up again and again. Lana
and Lois connived, villains plotted, and month after month
Superman's secret was in danger of being revealed. Meanwhile
I for one couldn't have cared less. With whole universes
to explore and wild adventures to be had, what a pity that
so many issues were wasted on the dumbest and least interesting
angle in the entire mythos. Compared to visiting the Phantom
Zone or fighting Brainiac, constantly watching Lois try
to unearth "the secret" was about as thrilling
as seeing Lucy try to get into Ricky's act for the umpteen
millionth time.
Things got even worse in the 60s when Stan Lee took his
Marvel Comics to the top of the sales charts with an emphasis
on "realistic" heroes. Suddenly, and from then
on, heroes had to live in the "real" world, have
"real" problems and deal with "relevant issues."
It worked, sort of, with Batman and Green Lantern, but with
Superman it always fell apart and still does. And a big
reason is that goofy disguise.Try as you might, you simply
cannot shoe-horn a fantasy character into the real world.
As far as I'm concerned the final word on this subject
came, not suprisingly, from editor Julius Schwartz.
In a late-70s anniversary issue, he wrote, "How
come nobody ever asks why all of Cinderella's clothes turn
to rags at midnight, except for one glass slipper?"
The point being that every fairy tale requires some suspension
of disbelief. There always comes a moment when you have
to play along and swallow the improbable or impossible,
if the story is to have an ending.
In other words, readers should lighten up and accept Superman
for what he is...pure fantasy. Some things just can't be
explained. That's where wonder, imagination and faith come
in. On a good day, any one of those things can be as valuable
as "reality," not to mention a heck of a lot more
fun.
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